Thursday, October 6, 2011

Oh woe is me and everyone else

I don't truly know where it started but it needs to be said. One's dreams rarely come true. I am not entirely sure that my dreams are my own. Can I really claim them? Most likely not, they might have been at one point my parents dreams for me or simply a miss guided version of what I thought might be fun or interesting way back when.

The truth of the matter is that what most people want they don't really get. For instance, I want to not have to worry about money. I have failed in that category. Or simple things like wishing that I am able to get that job I have always wanted, again no.

I'm not being cynical, I am simply stating the facts of what is happening. Let me express an event that I hold everyday of my life that has shaped me. I have been falsely accused of things that are no where close to my character. Things that I still find shocking and appalling. They are all false accusations, none were fortified with fact and could not be proven either way. At the time was going to a very liberal school. I was called up in font of a board to address the issues brought against me. Not only did I give my account, but I had others that backed my truthful story.

How was it handled?
The same way that most liberal, politically correct, childish institutions handle things. Blame men. Yes I was blamed, and even though I had others attesting to my innocence they still would not listen. This had many dire consequences attached to it that at the time I was not aware of. Hind sight being 20/20, I would have done things much differently. Most people would. You are a liar if you say that you would not change a thing from your past. Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Because of this I was not able to go into the career that I had been planning on for the past 4 to 5 years of my life with my education in mind. What I have found is that the younger generation's happiness is based on goals accomplished and older generation’s happiness is based on comfort in one's life. Obviously I fell into the younger side of things and am still not happy to this day. I see myself a bitter, I was different before. I was happy, willing to help anyone, and do anything. Now I am reserve, not willing to joke much if at all. And I despise everyone and trust them as much as I would trust a snake.

So my experiences have changed me and not for the better. I feel damaged in some ways. I know that it is possible to get over them, but in someways I may not want to just to remember that people are some of the worst creatures in existence. Nuff said.